EB Family Day Blog

Every now and then you go some place or do something just like you have done many times, but somehow this time it is different. That was my experience this week end going to a horse show just like I have gone every year for the past thirty years.

Wow, talk about a learning experience, this years Indiana Celebration was a horse show to remember.
I love horse shows and I especially love the Tennessee Walking Horse. At this years show it was more than just a horse show. I was able to learn about greed, competitiveness, family values, and integrity.

Greed

Did you know that there are people out there that want it all? Yes, they do not want anyone else to win any of the blue ribbons and trophies. You see I actually like people. If you like people then you have compassion for their feelings and their dreams. When I go to a horse show I enjoy watching the little kids that are happy weather they get a ribbon or not. They seem to be content just to be riding the horse.

It is especially interesting to watch the ladies class. Women seem to be more natural at riding then men do.
They sit up straight and look really good in the saddle. While some are more competitive than others. Just the challenge of riding a thousand pound horse seems to be rewarding to most.

Now the professional classes are a different story. It is just awesome to watch the trainers as they ready their mount for the competition. It is so obvious that they take a special pride in each and every animal that they have prepared for the show. It is almost like the trainer has a special relationship with the animal that only the two of them can, or will ever, understand.

Regrettably this week-end I did not get to witness the joy of people enjoying the animals that God put us dominion over. Instead it looked as though the competitors wanted to win at any cost.

Competition

Usually there are at least two or three horses in each of the classes that are so close in ability, that it is hard to determine who won the class. It is very subjective. Some judges like a free going horse while others seem to like a horse that has lots of speed or animation.

Watching the horses strut their stuff was a fascinating experience. The quality of horses was exceptional. The beauty of the high headed, deep walking, high stepping horses was every bit as exciting as I had perceived. Yet something was missing and it was missing badly. It was the important ingredient of good sportsmanship. One could scarcely enjoy the beautiful horses in front of you without hearing negative and undeserved remarks from horse owners who were not winning. What happened to the day when someone did well and we were happy for them? Lets face it, there is only one blue ribbon winner in each class. I would not even take my horse to the show if I required a blue ribbon in order to be satisfied. Obviously we are in competition and winning is the objective but I say that sportsmanship is just as much a part of winning as it is of losing. There is no excuse for rudeness on the part of any one in attendance.

Family Values

When I go to a multi-night show I really look forward to the fellowship after the horse show. Many of us have campers and enjoy getting together after the horse show. This can be fun for everyone that is involved, from mom and dad to grandmother and the kids. Even the family dog is involved in part of the action.

But at this particular show it seemed that too much drinking, bad language, and character bashing were the rule instead of the exception. Many times we confuse having an opinion with being straight out vulgar!
While this bothers me in all circumstances it is especially alarming when kids are present. Bad language and poor sportsmanship are learned behavior. Adults should lead the way in teaching the value of sportsmanship. Actually we should sincerely be happy for the winners of each class. When we lose that love and respect for others then we lose the love and respect from others.

Integrity

Do you walk the walk and talk the talk? That is the question we should ask ourselves. Attending horse shows has been a past time for me for over thirty years. While I have certainly seen judging and fan participation that has been less than desirable, it has been the exception and not the rule.

Winning at all cost is not winning at all. If you think it is okay to cheat as long as you do not get caught then you have an integrity problem. Just because someone else cheats to get an advantage does not mean that it is permissible for all who compete. If you truly have integrity then you will not compromise for anyone.

Horse shows are just one of many types of competition were competitors and fans alike will get the opportunity to test their skills and enjoy themselves. In the process of competition one can teach and learn not only how to have a good time but also how to be a good sport. No matter where you are, who you are, or what you are doing, it is important to practice good sportsmanship while exhibiting family values and integrity. This is true in the work-place, at home, at little league ball games, and in all walks of life.

Bob Roach Father of one and middle school teacher of literally thousands over the past thirty years. To find out more parenting tips, check out the Baby Names Box.

[tags]horse show, greed, family values[/tags]

In the United States, and perhaps in other countries as well, September 16
has been designated as “Stepfamily Day”. A day dedicated to the stepfamily. A day to honor all the StepHeroes out there who choose every day to be parents to ALL the children in their lives.

What will you do to honor your family on this special day? Some communities have
picnic celebrations planned. Some blended families choose to spend the day
together, as a family, without any electronic devices on for the whole day.
Other stepfamilies go to a favorite place with friends and play together. And
the vast majority let the day go by as any other day and miss the chance to
honor themselves for all the effort and hard work it takes to make a blended
family work. Why? Because they do not even know this day exists for them. They
are not aware of all the resources out there for them. They believe that they
are the only ones who are experiencing what it is like to be in a blended family
and they feel all alone.

This could be a great opportunity to reach out to other step and blended
families in your community. What would it be like to arrange a spontaneous
pot-luck, where you invite two other families you know who are also blended, and
ask each of them to invite two blended families that they know. Have some
activities planned for the different age groups of children, and plan to meet at
a location that can accommodate you all (one of your homes; a nearby park or
playground; a community center; ). This doesn’t have to be fancy and you do
have to spend a ton of money. In fact, you can have each family bring one of
their favorite games to play, and see what you discover – how many are the same?
How many are different? Which ones have never been played? Which ones are the
ones everybody knows and has? Spend the day connecting and being with others
who are blending too.

Step and Blended Families that choose to make this kind of effort are always
amazed at the rewards that happen unexpectedly. Oftentimes, they enjoy the
experience so much that they decide to make it a monthly event, with a different
theme each month.

Are you finding yourself excited and elated by this idea? Or are your first
thoughts those of resistance or dread? Notice how your mind is responding to
this idea. Is it coming up with all kinds of reasons why you could not or would
not or should not do this? While all those reasons may appear to be valid,
chances are they are not necessarily true. Our minds have a way of keeping us
from trying or doing anything that is different or out of the ordinary. This is
a natural, healthy defense mechanism designed to keep us safe. The problem is
that what we perceive as safe is often just what is familiar. The unfamiliar is
then deemed to be unsafe, when the reality is that it can be very safe, fun,
fulfilling, and full of new possibilities.

Emily Bouchard co-authored the ebook Conquering Conflict with her husband Darryl. In the last two years alone, the Bouchards have helped over 3500 people change their lives through their coaching, trainings, and resource-based website, http://www.blended-families.com They travel throughout the U.S. and Canada leading workshops for couples, families, communities, professionals, and entrepreneurs who want to understand how to better communicate in their personal and business lives.

Emily Bouchard has over twenty years of experience in working with children, teens, couples and families. She earned a B.A. with honors in an individualized major in Child Development from the University of Pennsylvania, and a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Texas at Arlington.
For more information, visit their website or email Emily at emily@blended-families.com

[tags]family, step parenting, step mother, step father, step children, children, parenting, blended family[/tags]

There are many ways to self improvement. Here are some tips for getting rid of a bad habit. Habits are as we all know some sort of automatic behaviours and most of us employ habits that are far from good, thus we want to change them. There are lots of examples; smoking habits, the habit of over-eating, the habit of forgetting certain things like umbrellas and gloves, the habit of interrupting other people when they talk etc.

Though there are many different bad habits, breaking a habit has certain things in common, whether it is a smoking habit, an over-eating habit or whatever. The tips below cover how to break a habit in general and can be applied on whichever habit you want to break.

The first question you should ask when you plan to break a habit is how serious are you about breaking it? If you are really committed to getting rid of it, your chance of succeeding is much higher than if you lack this commitment. Be aware that breaking habits requires focused energy and you need to concentrate on observing your behaviour over a period of time.

In which situations are you performing the habit you want to get rid of. How often are you doing it and are there special things from your environment that trigger your behaviour? You should set aside a period of time just to observe yourself and your behaviour. Write down and keep track of when you do the unwanted behaviour. It is also important that you find out exactly what your thoughts and feelings are each time you perform your unwanted behaviour. When you write this down, you will be much more aware of when and why you perform this habit.

Now, take your notebook, read what you have written and ask yourself, “Which function has this habit for me? What does it really do for me? What pleasure does this habit give me? Which pain do I avoid with this behaviour? Does it prevent anxiety, stress, nausea? Does it make me feel more confident?

Think about this and write down some alternative behaviours to the habit you want to get rid of that would be a better and more positive way to handle the feelings or the situation that is associated with it. How can this new behaviour or new habit make you feel pleasure or prevent you from feeling pain as well as the old one. Select one or a few alternative behaviours or habits and start to practice them.

Be careful to observe your behaviour and as soon as you notice that you are practicing your old habit, stop yourself and start the new alternative behaviour you picked out previously. Work with this every day in the beginning one or two times a day, and increase it as the time goes by. To break an old habit and replace it with a new, isn’t done overnight, but the more you practice your new behaviour, the more it becomes fixed and the more of the old one is erased.

Tell your family and friends that you are working with yourself to get rid of a habit you don’t like, and they will probably help and support you in your endeavour to get rid of your nasty habits.

Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self-Improvement.net. Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self help issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, self improvement by breaking bad habits and building good relationships with family and friends.

[tags]bad habit, breaking a habit, self improvement, behaviour, family and friends[/tags]

You’ve seen it. You’ve heard about it. God willing, you haven’t experienced it first hand. But we have all been subjected to the violence in our streets and wonder what can be done. Every major philosophy and every major religion that I know of and certainly the bible that I know says that light dispels darkness. This will be the basis of my ideas that I will set forth in the coming months. I believe that the good people of our fair city have been driven indoors by the fear of the bad people. You hear that it is time to take back out streets! But no one seems to know how! The bible also says that “perfect love casts out fear”. If we are to get over our fear, then we must love. Who may you ask? Well I’m not going to ask you to love the murderers and drug dealers. That is God’s job.

I’m asking for all of us to love the most important things in our lives! Our children. How do we keep our children safe? Be where they are. Or know that there are responsible adults where they are. At all times! Is that possible? I say yes. In the coming weeks and months I will give you concrete examples of how we used to do it when I was young and how we today can do the same. It will involve all of us. But there is safety in numbers. We will not get rid of the murderers and drug dealers. My hope is to drive them underground and under the rocks they came out from. With your help we can.

Alan “Bud” Speaker

Alan “Bud” Speaker has lived in an urban setting for almost all of his life. Raised a little girl there and hopes to help others to do the same. He hopes to prove the adage that “The pen is mightier than the sword”.

[tags]family, parents, kids, holiday, safe, danger, murders, killing, protection, police[/tags]