EB Family Day Blog

“Who’s your daddy?” screams the angry woman to the little girl standing on the porch. The little girl’s mother comes out of the house waving a frying pan and letting loose curse words. A shouting match takes place between the women. You can hear the yelling and see the fighting. A policeman arrives to deal with this domestic disturbance. He separates the two ladies and learns these two are dating the same man. No one is happy.

Don’t allow yourself to be held captive by a negative vibe in your family. There is no perfect family (if you are honest, there’s probably some dysfunctional behavior in your family tree). Confusion can destroy a close-knit family. In this situation, the word “family” primarily refers to your extended relatives (brother, sister, aunt, cousin, etc.). Communication usually breaks down–feelings get hurt. Disharmony can happen to any family. How does it get started? It can be created either by individual choices or by the decisions of others. You can see it created through many ways: selfish sibling, drugs taking control, dependent relatives, money-stricken friends, or toxic relationships. Can you think of others?

Many issues can cause family confusion. Many people tend to react to their gut feeling without thinking through the consequences. Don’t believe these personal decisions only impact you. No, short-term choices can leave a legacy of total disasters. Do you need examples? Take someone else’s loved one? Threaten to kill someone? We live in a society where no one wants to wait and develop a real relationship. People prefer to generate quick “soap opera” relationships to shield their insecurities. There are impacts. For example, Derrick Thomas, former Kansas City Chief linebacker, was a football hero with fame, money, and power. He died on February 8, 2000, from injuries suffered in auto accident. He probably hoped to leave fans a legacy of outstanding memories, but the reality is Derrick’s leaving the public another American tragedy. He left seven children from five different women and no will. While Derrick earned more than $30 million in his football career, it is expected the children will split several hundred thousand dollars once the estate is settled. What kind of situation does this leave the family? Will there be chaos in the family? Each of us must realize that our choices not only can hurt us, but our loved ones also.

Do you know someone in your family who creates disharmony? A small dose of confusion can spread like a wild fire in a family. You can always find at least one person looking to generate “mess” in a family. What will start it this time? Family property? Money? This person will not let the problem die down; he is not content until there is a big explosion. The results are generally not positive. In our own family, we have seen family members fight over property. There is generally lots of anger and hurt feelings. Often kids are caught in the middle, left to carry on this confusion (even when they don’t understand the cause). While many involved in these types of situations are left empty, some people thrive on this negative energy and seem to get enjoyment from it (the more trouble, the better). They celebrate disharmony. We call these folks “troublemakers” or “instigators.” Here are some suggestions for improving these situations:

Problems did you say?

This article is entirely based upon metaphysics, logic, and self experience. What I’m going to share with you is not necessarily true or false, right or wrong.

You can examine it as personal preference reflected upon actual learning time. We all go through different trials and tribulations each and every day.

Some of us walk through fiery trenches of warfare where we can impart teachings into others in order to override certain problems.

The better situated and govern structured you deal with your problems, the more positive images you will reflect on yourself.

In addition, your creativity will help you solve your problems.

Below is a 10 step method listing in which you can use to think systematically and become your very own solution provider.

As a result, you will gain success in reaching multiple levels of brain power to completely dominate your problems and reverse the negatives into something positive.

#1 – Convert your obstacles from negative to positive.

Instead of using the word “problem,” use the word “predicament” or “situation,” or call it a “challenge” or an “opportunity.”

Lets say you’re in sales and a sale falls through. You can say something like “This is an interesting challenge or opportunity.

It’s a chance for you to improve your attitude effectiveness which will end up in a change in your sales for increase.

#2 – Identify your situation or predicament clearly.

How large is this lion in which you are facing?

What is causing your stress, anxiety or oppression?

What is causing you to worry?

*Worry is a waste of life.

Why are you unhappy?

*Unhappiness is one key ingredient to being miserable. Prevent it or remove the unhappy ingredient!

Write out clearly in detail your prevention. (use scrap paper)

#3 – Don’t be afraid to ask yourself what the situation is.

Refrain from superficial answers. They will only confuse and mislead you.

Focus on the root cause of the problem, rather than getting sidetracked by the downpour. Attack the situation from multiple directions within a single point.

#4 – Are there any minimum conditions that limit your four walls?

What must the solution accomplish and how will the accomplishment benefit you?

What ingredients must the solution contain?

How can you avoid using the wrong ingredients?

What would your ideal solution to this situation portray?

Define your parameters distinctively clear. (use scrap paper)

#5 – Choose the more proper solution by comparing your various possible solutions against your situation.

In one corner magnify your ideal solution and in the far corner, dismantle the situation.

What is the intelligent thing to do while mastering the depth of a specific situation?

#6 – Prior to implementing your decision find out “what the worst possibilities that can happen if your decisions don’t work?”

When you make any expenditure of money or effort in attempting to achieve your goal, you should evaluate what you would do just in case your decision does not go as planned.

*Remember, always plan and prepare.

#7 – Set measurements on your decisions.

How will you know you are making progress?

How will you measure your success?

How will you compare the success of this solution against the success of another solution?

How will you define a success measure?

Make it measurable, and then monitor it on a regular basis. Set your own pace.

Accept full responsibility for implementing your decisions as they can grow consequences which can affect your stability for success.

Many of the most creative ideas never materialize because no one is specifically assigned the responsibility for carrying out their decision(s).

#8 – Schedule a deadline for yourself.

A decision without a deadline is just a meaningless discussion.

If it’s a major decision and will take some time to implement, set a series of short-term deadlines and a schedule for planning and reporting.

Write out a deadline or an outline setting both date and time in which you prefer to manage your tasks in an orderly fashion. (use scrap paper)

# 9 – Finally, take action. Get busy. Get it going. Develop a sense of urgency. Be assertive.

The faster you move in the direction of the blowing wind..

The more creative you will be.

The more energy you will have.

The more you will learn and the faster you will develop your capacity to achieve even more in the future.

The world is full of creative individuals who have wonderful ideas.

Updated research has proven that 93.7% of individuals don’t pick up the golden rod and run with it. They leave it on the ground to collect dust.

And this is where you can excel. The future belongs to the creative minority who can not only think but also take action and put their ideas into effect.

#10 – 3 things you can do immediately to put your ideas into immediate action.

1st:

Take your biggest situation or worry today, and ask yourself;

What exactly is the situation?

What am I worrying about?

2nd:

Analyze your situation creatively and ask yourself..

What else is the situation?

Sometimes the real situation is not what you think. The only situations that exist are the one’s we create for ourselves.

3rd:

What kind of a decision should you consider?

Make a good decision. Be concise about your decision(s). Your decision should not be vague.

Assign responsibility or accept full responsibility, and then take action on your ideas. “No action, no satisfaction.”

The harder you work to solve your situations, the smarter you will become.

Here is a quick tip before I remove my fingers from this keyboard;

“If you spend 20% of your focus on the problem, 80% of your focus on the solution, 0% failure will be your reward.”

Oh and by the way, the questions above in which you need to ask yourself, already contain the answers hidden inside the questions.

Don’t forget, write out your problems on a separate piece of scrap paper and draw a written arrow pointing towards your incoming solutions.

This will help develop your own destiny in which you have been entitled to since day one. Now go and laugh at your problems.

If it wasn’t for laughter, life would be boring!

In description of, Joseph Mercado is known as The Internet Marketing Tyrant of information; http://www.StealMyProblems.com

[tags]problem solving,depression,anxiety,fear,failure,disappointment,family problems,giving up, oppression[/tags]

I was talking with my young friend, Heywood, recently, when the conversation veered from professional wrestling and last week’s episode of Seinfeld to global politics and matters of international trade.

“If I were president, I’d make friends with Cuba and tell China to take a hike,” Heywood said seriously. “I hate Chinese food, but I’d love a good Cuban cigar.”

“How much does a good Cuban cigar go for these days?” I asked.

He shrugged. “If you could get them, twenty, thirty bucks apiece.”

“You’d pay thirty bucks for one cigar?”

Heywood’s affirmative response involved the betting of a certain part of my anatomy, so I didn’t protest when he changed the subject back to wrestling. Too bad, I didn’t get a chance to tell him about the latest warning from the Surgeon General concerning cigars. The warning reads:

While cigars have not been proven to cause cancer in laboratory rats that smoke them, one thing is clear: anyone who pays more than five cents for a good cigar, Cuban or otherwise, should immediately have their head examined. Thank you and have a nice day.

I know, these days five cents wouldn’t buy you the paper ring off a really lousy cigar, much less a really good one. Still, if you’re willing and able to pay thirty bucks for one cigar, I want you to stop and turn an ear toward Heaven. Hear that voice? That’s God talking to you. He’s saying, “Hey, you make too much money! Give some to Weinstock.”

For Heywood and countless other young, single, successful men AND women (Yuppies, Part Deux, I call them), cigar smoking has become the latest trendy thing to do, on par with wearing sunglasses at night, cruising around in the winter time with the top down, and eating sushi without battering and deep frying it first. Cigars are the bell bottoms of the nineties. Smoke ‘em if you can afford ‘em.

I can remember when cigars weren’t so in vogue, when the only people smoking them were crooked politicians and gas station attendants who had names like Buck and Del sewn into their shirts. Mafia bosses smoked cigars, as did sleazy Hollywood producers and lowly fight promoters. Cigars were greasy, nasty things and only greasy, nasty men smoked them. Men like my Uncle Buddy.

Uncle Buddy was a grease monkey by trade, which is what people used to call the greasy, nasty guys who worked on their cars. Uncle Buddy was never without a burning Tampa Nugget cigar stuck in the corner of his mouth. His teeth were a lovely shade of brown. Dried spots of brown drool decorated his chin. And he was always spitting, spitting, spitting. A truly lovely man, he was. A real treat to be around. He had no idea that he was ahead of his time. Every bar he went into was a cigar bar. And when he died it took the man at the funeral parlor ten minutes to pry the cigar from his jaw. Would Uncle Buddy have paid thirty bucks for a really good cigar? Sure, if it came with a six pack of Old Milwaukee and the keys to a ‘63 Impala.

Cigars have changed a bit since Uncle Buddy’s day. It used to be that you could toss aside a chewed nub of a cigar, then come back four or five months later and smoke the rest and still get that full-bodied taste. These days, however, cigars are delicate things that must be babied and pampered like fine wine. According to Heywood, modern-day cigars should be properly stored in something called a humidor, which is like a fancy cigar coffin, and kept at 70 degrees Fahrenheit, with 70% relative humidity. As he was telling me this, I thought of another friend who is a TV weatherman. I wonder if he’s ever thought of giving nightly humidor reports. The ratings would be phenomenal!

Never having been much of a cigar smoker myself (my cigar smoking experience has been limited to the “It’s a girl!” variety), I won’t pretend to understand the subtle nuances that make one cigar worth a quarter and another worth thirty bucks. However, for the sake of journalistic integrity (Can you believe I typed that with a straight face?), I did a little research on the subject. I visited the website of Cigar Aficionado magazine, which bills itself as the cigar smoker’s bible. While I didn’t discover what makes a thirty dollar Cuban superior to a fifty-cent Swisher Sweet, I did learn a few very interesting things.

For example, have you cigar smokers ever wondered why some cigar ashes are gray and flaky while others are white and solid? According to the helpful, online Cigar Aficionado answer man, it has to do with the amount of magnesium and other nutrients found in the soil where the tobacco was grown. As a general rule, a flaky, gray ash indicates tobacco with low magnesium content, while a solid white ash indicates high nutrient content.

In laymen’s terms, that means if the contents of the cigar you’re puffing on was fertilized with high-quality cow poop, you can bet a certain part of your anatomy that your ash will be white. Maybe that’s what makes a cigar worth thirty bucks. The tobacco grower is probably spending a fortune on One-A-Day Vitamins for his cows. Remember that the next time you get a good inch or two of white ash on the tip of your thirty dollar cigar. Take a moment to thank the cows that made the fertilizer that made that cigar taste so good.

The thing that puzzles me most of all about the cigar craze is why are so many women joining the club? Is it because cigars leave their breath so minty fresh? Is it because they can’t do a decent Cosby impression without a cigar in hand? Or is it something deeper within their social psyche? Do they achieve a feeling of empowerment by having a smelly cigar clenched between their teeth (you’ll notice that women never let their lips touch the cigar, probably because they’d realize what they’re doing and puke their guts out)? Perhaps it’s the misguided ideal that to be a man’s equal a woman has to smoke a man’s smoke.

If that’s the case it’s a good thing Uncle Buddy’s no longer around.

He’d have driven the girls wild.

From “Small Business Q&A” With Tim Knox
Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, author, speaker, and radio show host.
Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs realize their business dreams.
To learn more please visit http://www.timknox.com

[tags]cigar, smoker, tobacco, humor, Tim Knox, southern humor, family humor[/tags]