EB Family Day Blog

Stress is the spice of life not a disease that everybody must live with. While it is true that chronic and excessive stress can destroy your joy and peace, well managed stress can challenge and toughen you for major accomplishment. Like fire, stress can be very beneficial and a key part of a healthy productive life but it can also devastate us.

In reality, managing stress is not all that complicated but it does need our attention and we need to learn the basics of using it to our benefit and not be destroyed by it. Here are three simple yet powerful skills that I call the ABC’s of stress management: Awareness, Balance and Control.” These simple guidelines are the cornerstone of developing the stress hardiness needed to enjoy life and be productive in our busy world. You can use these anytime and anywhere and maximize the thrill of living. The good news is that most people simply need to take a moment and back off for a few minutes, take a deep breath and become aware of what is stressing them.

Awareness of our primary stressors and how they are affecting us is one of the first and most important factors in managing and enjoying the stresses of your life. Think through what are your primary stressors and find a good stress assessment tool that will objectively tell you how stress is affecting you.

Balance is learning how to keep our busy lives in perspective. Once you figure out what balance is for you and can maintain it, you are well on the road to enjoying the stress of your life. Are you taking time for rest, physical activity and personal and family time? Are you working realistic hours and balancing work and play? Only you can answer these questions for you.

Control is taking charge of all of your stressors. That is those of which you have control. We all have some stressors for which we do not have control, (i.e. a sudden life threatening illness, divorce, a friend or family member seriously injured or killed in an accident) but you will be surprised that you can take control of most of your significant stressors. Yes, you do have more control than you might think. Suppose for instance that this year has been a particularly stressful year for you. Then this may not be the time to volunteer to lead Boy Scouts or Girl Guides or even take on added personal projects. The body does not readily distinguish between positive and negative stressors both can be equally beneficial or harmful. They are beneficial if we have the stress hardiness needed to manage them or harmful, even if it is a positive stressor, if the event or activity puts you over into excessive or unmanageable stress for an extended period.

Yes, even in our fast-paced busy world, you can be on the run and have your stress under control. Managing stress is not that difficult. Is it doable? I know it is. I live a very active, demanding life and enjoy it to the full. You can achieve a stress hardiness that will enable you to see the plus side of stress and grow and prosper from it rather than be trapped by it.

Many people think that to manage their stress more effectively they need to reduce there stress levels, change their job or escape from real life. While it is true that some people need to reduce their stress levels and for some their job is killing them, yet who can or would want to abandon family and friends for the sake of stress management? The good news is that you can thrive even in our fast-paced busy world. Practice these ABC,s and learn the stress skills that help you develop the stress hardiness you need. I have a FREE e-course entitled, 7 Days to Enjoying the Stress of Your Life, for more info click on the link below.

Cameron Johnston is an author, speaker and stress fitness coach. He is a burnout survivor who has inspired tens of thousands of individuals to live it up without being washed-up. Through his articles, books and speaking, employees in hundreds of organizations have mastered the stress hardiness tools needed to thrive and succeed in our fast-paced, 24/7 world. He has a Masters of Science Degree in Public Health and has developed the Cooling DownThe Stress Soup Stress Management System. Cameron is the author of three books on stress management including, Don’t Eat The Soup As Hot As They Cook It! Here he has distilled all the stress management essentials into eight powerful and very doable ways to cool off the stress soup. He is President of WellChoices

Tags: anxiety, family stress, stress, stress management, work stress, workplace stress

Life is moving faster today than even a couple of years ago! It is not a figment of your imagination! There are so many potential stressors today and most have been with us since humans have been on the planet. For instance, a new baby in the family was just as stressful three thousand years ago as it is today. Let’s take a quick look at a number of relatively new stressors that even our grandparents had little knowledge of or experience with:

INFORMATION OVERLOAD – the ever increasing knowledge base is growing so rapidly that no one can keep up, not even those who look like they are! Information overload is a serious stress reality today and each of us has to find a way to manage all the information to our own advantage or it will overwhelm us.

CONSTANT RAPID CHANGE – coming out of the information explosion is constant rapid change. Change is not new to life on this planet but never has it been so constant and rapid. We humans are creatures of habit and changes tend to always be stressful, even changes we perceive to be positive. Learning the skills needed to manage the rapid pace of change today in the family, at work and in society is essential to managing our stress.

DECISIONAL OVERLOAD – information overload and constant change leads to decisional overload. Consider all the choices and options we all have every day. Whether it is our work, social opportunities or variety of food products, you cannot but be faced with literally hundreds of choices and decisions every day. Someone said a few years ago that we are bombarded with over 2000 advertising messages every day, probably more now. We can easily become overwhelmed and while we block out most of these messages we must develop effective strategies so we can thrive in this new, every changing and multi-opportunity world.

THEN THERE IS TECHNO-STRESS – one lady said the power when out in her house for five minutes and she had to set twenty-three clocks. Ever present worldwide news, cell phones, pagers and the list goes on and on, invade our world with relentless negativity and urgency. Add to all of this: global terrorism, global epidemics and major natural disasters. We can easily worry ourselves into a frenzy day and night. How can we manage these new stressors? Here are a couple of stress management tips.

1. LEARN HOW TO MANAGE THE INFORMATION EXPLOSION, daily flowing in and out of your life. Find ways to sort out the essential from the interesting and the urgent from the important. The internet is a wonderful tool but we must learn how to use it effectively otherwise it can waste a lot of valuable time and frustrate you at the same time.

2. LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU CAN. Do you really need to move into that new house this yeareven though you can afford it?

3. FIND WAYS TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF DECISIONS IN ANY GIVEN DAY. Delegate or eliminate as much as possible. I remember years ago reading about a habit of Ann Landers when if she found a particular dress she liked. She would buy two or three in different colors to limit her shopping decisions. Not a bad idea or example.

4. MAXIMIZE THE POSITIVE USE OF TECHNOLOGY. Must you have every new gadget that is produced? Remember also that technology can run 24/7 but you can’t.

5. TAKE A MEDIA FAST OCCASIONALLY. Maybe weekly, for a few hours, a whole day, and sometimes longer, possibly for a week or two. World problems will all continue without you knowing about them. The stress break can do wonders to help you relax.

6. REFUSE TO ALLOW ALL THE NEGATIVE LOCAL AND WORLD NEWS TO MAKE YOU PESSIMISTIC, CYNICAL OR PARANOID. Choose to be positive and optimistic even when life is difficult. For more help on managing these new stressors consider signing up for my FREE e-course entitled, 7 Days to Enjoying the Stress of Your Life, to receive click on link below.

Cameron Johnston is an author, speaker and stress fitness coach. He is a burnout survivor who has inspired tens of thousands of individuals to live it up without being washed-up. Through his articles, books and speaking, employees in hundreds of organizations have mastered the stress hardiness tools needed to thrive and succeed in our fast-paced, 24/7 world. He has a Masters of Science Degree in Public Health and has developed the Cooling DownThe Stress Soup Stress Management System. Cameron is the author of three books on stress management including, Don’t Eat The Soup As Hot As They Cook It! Here he has distilled all the stress management essentials into eight powerful and very doable ways to cool off the stress soup. He is President of WellChoices

Tags: anxiety, family stress, stress, stress management, work stress, workplace stress

Problems did you say?

This article is entirely based upon metaphysics, logic, and self experience. What I’m going to share with you is not necessarily true or false, right or wrong.

You can examine it as personal preference reflected upon actual learning time. We all go through different trials and tribulations each and every day.

Some of us walk through fiery trenches of warfare where we can impart teachings into others in order to override certain problems.

The better situated and govern structured you deal with your problems, the more positive images you will reflect on yourself.

In addition, your creativity will help you solve your problems.

Below is a 10 step method listing in which you can use to think systematically and become your very own solution provider.

As a result, you will gain success in reaching multiple levels of brain power to completely dominate your problems and reverse the negatives into something positive.

#1 – Convert your obstacles from negative to positive.

Instead of using the word “problem,” use the word “predicament” or “situation,” or call it a “challenge” or an “opportunity.”

Lets say you’re in sales and a sale falls through. You can say something like “This is an interesting challenge or opportunity.

It’s a chance for you to improve your attitude effectiveness which will end up in a change in your sales for increase.

#2 – Identify your situation or predicament clearly.

How large is this lion in which you are facing?

What is causing your stress, anxiety or oppression?

What is causing you to worry?

*Worry is a waste of life.

Why are you unhappy?

*Unhappiness is one key ingredient to being miserable. Prevent it or remove the unhappy ingredient!

Write out clearly in detail your prevention. (use scrap paper)

#3 – Don’t be afraid to ask yourself what the situation is.

Refrain from superficial answers. They will only confuse and mislead you.

Focus on the root cause of the problem, rather than getting sidetracked by the downpour. Attack the situation from multiple directions within a single point.

#4 – Are there any minimum conditions that limit your four walls?

What must the solution accomplish and how will the accomplishment benefit you?

What ingredients must the solution contain?

How can you avoid using the wrong ingredients?

What would your ideal solution to this situation portray?

Define your parameters distinctively clear. (use scrap paper)

#5 – Choose the more proper solution by comparing your various possible solutions against your situation.

In one corner magnify your ideal solution and in the far corner, dismantle the situation.

What is the intelligent thing to do while mastering the depth of a specific situation?

#6 – Prior to implementing your decision find out “what the worst possibilities that can happen if your decisions don’t work?”

When you make any expenditure of money or effort in attempting to achieve your goal, you should evaluate what you would do just in case your decision does not go as planned.

*Remember, always plan and prepare.

#7 – Set measurements on your decisions.

How will you know you are making progress?

How will you measure your success?

How will you compare the success of this solution against the success of another solution?

How will you define a success measure?

Make it measurable, and then monitor it on a regular basis. Set your own pace.

Accept full responsibility for implementing your decisions as they can grow consequences which can affect your stability for success.

Many of the most creative ideas never materialize because no one is specifically assigned the responsibility for carrying out their decision(s).

#8 – Schedule a deadline for yourself.

A decision without a deadline is just a meaningless discussion.

If it’s a major decision and will take some time to implement, set a series of short-term deadlines and a schedule for planning and reporting.

Write out a deadline or an outline setting both date and time in which you prefer to manage your tasks in an orderly fashion. (use scrap paper)

# 9 – Finally, take action. Get busy. Get it going. Develop a sense of urgency. Be assertive.

The faster you move in the direction of the blowing wind..

The more creative you will be.

The more energy you will have.

The more you will learn and the faster you will develop your capacity to achieve even more in the future.

The world is full of creative individuals who have wonderful ideas.

Updated research has proven that 93.7% of individuals don’t pick up the golden rod and run with it. They leave it on the ground to collect dust.

And this is where you can excel. The future belongs to the creative minority who can not only think but also take action and put their ideas into effect.

#10 – 3 things you can do immediately to put your ideas into immediate action.

1st:

Take your biggest situation or worry today, and ask yourself;

What exactly is the situation?

What am I worrying about?

2nd:

Analyze your situation creatively and ask yourself..

What else is the situation?

Sometimes the real situation is not what you think. The only situations that exist are the one’s we create for ourselves.

3rd:

What kind of a decision should you consider?

Make a good decision. Be concise about your decision(s). Your decision should not be vague.

Assign responsibility or accept full responsibility, and then take action on your ideas. “No action, no satisfaction.”

The harder you work to solve your situations, the smarter you will become.

Here is a quick tip before I remove my fingers from this keyboard;

“If you spend 20% of your focus on the problem, 80% of your focus on the solution, 0% failure will be your reward.”

Oh and by the way, the questions above in which you need to ask yourself, already contain the answers hidden inside the questions.

Don’t forget, write out your problems on a separate piece of scrap paper and draw a written arrow pointing towards your incoming solutions.

This will help develop your own destiny in which you have been entitled to since day one. Now go and laugh at your problems.

If it wasn’t for laughter, life would be boring!

In description of, Joseph Mercado is known as The Internet Marketing Tyrant of information; http://www.StealMyProblems.com

Tags: anxiety, Depression, disappointment, failure, family problems, fear, giving up, oppression, problem solving

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the most common behavioral disorder of childhood. It is commonly estimates that from 3% to 6% of the child and adolescent population in the United States is diagnosed with ADHD. However, a recent report issued by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) suggest that ADHD may affect as many as 8% to 17% of America’s youth. The APA report indicating a greater public health threat than previously thought.

Children and adolescents with ADHD are at a significantly higher risk for numerous emotional and social problems than those without ADHD, including academic and occupational underachievement, violence and criminality, increased suicide and risk-taking behavior. Children with ADHD are also at risk for depression, interpersonal difficulties, and family disruption (J. Kendall, 2003). Although studies have demonstrated that family dysfunction is common in families with ADHD children. Also, family members may suffer serious psychological effects, however, knowledge is noticeable lacking as to how to help these families cope with the daily challenges ADHD.

Article of interest Recently I read an article titled, Working with the Family of a Child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The authors of this article are: D.J. DeMarle, L. Denk, and C.S. Ernsthausen. I recommend this particular article for several reasons the most important being that it is replete with great ideas; and some very good suggestions that sets the framework for addressing family members’ relevent concerns about ADHD and make recommendation for effective treatment and support system. Most practitioners understand ADHD as a medical condition. I don’t agree with that assessment. It is true that ADHD has a biological and a physiological component. However, I believe that ADHD is a psychological, behavioral, and medical disorder. When we view ADHD as a single entity we run the risk of treating part of the symptoms. For example, if we focus on the medical aspect ADHD, the medical practitioner is commonly consulted to determined if the child meets the criteria for ADHD as required by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM IV). The evaluating physicians are also called upon for advice and to prescribe treatment for the disorder. However, most physicians with a very active practice cannot devote the time that is necessary with the family to review the nature and causes of ADHD and the multi-disciplinary approach to treating the disorder. Therefore, there is an elevated risk that the doctor may inadvertently reinforce existing fears and misconceptions about ADHD in the minds of family members.

With this in mind we can understand how crucial the multi-disciplinary team and their experiences working with and supporting families throughout the interviewing and consulting process. Research shows that family’s reaction may directly influence parental attitudes, the child, and their actions with him or her. It is an accepted fact that parents’ attitude is affected by the information received, compassionate understanding, and the level of attention shown by the physician and other professionals sharing the news. This article, in my opinion, is a road map that can guide families through the process and help the team to develop strategy to reduce family members’ anxities.

Because ADHD has received mass media attention in recent years many in the general public have reached an opinion about ADHD that is not supported by scientific facts. I offer this brief quote from the article to established a foundation for the unsupported, but wide, belief about ADHD. The authors described the verbal exchange between Don and Mary Butler (pseudonym) who had just been told by their pediatrician that their son Tommy had ADHD and suggests Ritalin as the appropriate treatment. Don turns to Mary and said, “See I told you he was just a lazy and rotten kid, even the doctor thinks so; that’s why he is putting him on medication.”

ADHD Real or Imagined? Don is expressing a widely held belief that ADHD is not a legitimate medical illness. It has been suffested that many in the medical community has strayed from the scientific path and created a disorder to ease teachers and parents’ anxieties regarding childhood inappropriate behavior by routinely drugging children into proper behavior. Those who continue to believe that ADHD is a medical myth must ignore a mountain of scientific studies and research literatures that documents the existence of ADHD as a ligitimate and serious disorder. Based on the criteria established by the DSM IV, ADHD accounts for the greatest number of referrals to child mental health clinic than all other psychiatric and behavioral problems of childhood adolescent.

The continued questioning of the validity of the diagnosis of ADHD has caused uncertainties about its management in the minds of many clinicians and the public at large. Inaccurate beliefs about the validity of ADHD may hinder the appropriate care of some patients and cause confusion about the need for approved treatment. As stated above, critics describe ADHD as a means to label difficult children who are not ill but whose behavior is the problem. They further contend that, far from having a biological basis, ADHD results from improper parenting and poor, ineffective, teaching practices. These attitudes further stigmatize patients and their families, and increase the burden of this debilitating disease. There is overwhelming medical evidence that ADHD not only cause specific disabling symptoms that often persist into adulthood, but many studies shows a biological connection and a characteristic response to approved treatment.

Rodney Dangerfield, the well-known actor/comedian, often said “I get no respect.” The thought that came to my mind was ADHD gets no respect. That is certainly the conclusion one might reach after reading so many insidious statements that ADHD is not an authentic and debilitating disorder. Many of us, including this author, who work with children diagnosed with ADHD have no illusion about the reality and seriousness of this disorder.

Like many teachers, in todays educational settings, I come in daily contact with students diagnosed with various disabilities, including ADHD. Therefore I have a profound sense of resentment toward those who support the beliefs that ADHD is not a legitimate illness but nothing more than a label created specifically to absolve parents and teachers of their responsibility to manage uncontrollable children. However, I can understand how the uninformed and those who choose to view ADHD from a distance might easily be led astray. For example, many of us at some point exhibit some of the symptoms common of ADHD. We sometime get distracted, we have trouble finishing assigned work or completing other important tasks. On the other hand, children with ADHD are, in most case, less able to care for themselves, less able to behave appropriately in social setting; and less able to communicate on the same level as other children of the same age.

Phantom Symptoms

Final, for unknown reason, symptoms indicating the present of ADHD may temporarily be absent leading others to believe that the person with ADHD can control the behaviors. Also, a definite diagnosis is difficult because there are no tests that can consistently detect ADHD. A physician can only observe behaviors and offer a professional conclusion weather the child has ADHD. If a child is having trouble concentrating, or may be unwilling to cooperate on the day they see the doctor this could lead to an incorrect diagnosis. Therefore, it is very important that ADHD be diagnosed by health care professionals that specializes in these types of disorders with the help and cooperation of parents and teachers.

DeMarle D.J., Denk L., Ernsthausen C.S. (2003) Working with the Family of a Child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Pediatric Nursing, Vol. 29 (4), 302-308.

Dr. William Smith is a psychologist and consultant with many years experience working with families and individuals, including those who have a child with disability. For additional information, Dr. Smith can be contacted by completing the contact form at: insightconsultant.com
Dr. Smith will give a FREE initial assessment to any one who request such.

Tags: ADHD, anxiety, Behavioral Disorder, Depression, Family management, Mood, Psychological Disorder

WOW! If you learn nothing else about managing the stress of your life, you must become skilled in recognizing these five common stress management myths and take steps not to be caught in their deadly trap.

In today’s 24/7 pressure filled world, it is crucial to develop the stress hardiness needed to enjoy the stress of your life, be at peace and productive. The speed of life today is not going to slow down! If anything it may speed up, if that is possible. In order to survive and thrive you must not only strengthen your stress coping reserves, you must maximize them! You must also be aware of some very dangerous misinformation circulating about stress.

MYTH #1I’M NOT STRESSED BECAUSE I DO NOT FEEL STRESSED! The question is: how do you know? Stress is very deceptive and many people who feel very stressed are actually handling their stress quite well while others who do not feel stressed are on the edge of disaster. The truth is that some individuals can handle huge amounts of stress and thrive while others collapse under less than normal stress.

MYTH #2ALL STRESS IS BAD, AND I CAN ELIMINATE ALL STRESS FROM MY LIFE, RIGHT? Wrong, stress is not all bad. In reality, stress is the spice of life. Life would not be much without it. The only people experiencing no stress are in the cemetery. Eliminating stress is not the goal. The goal is to manage both positive and negative stress for the optimum enjoyment of life.

MYTH #3EXECUTIVES AND AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS ARE THE MOST STRESSED PEOPLE, RIGHT? Wrong! Executives and air traffic controllers deal with huge amounts of stress and most thrive on it because they have learned the basic stress coping skills needed for their high intensity work. Actually, the reverse of this myth is true. The average worker and those in middle management are often the most stressed in an organization because of the lack of control they feel in their every day lives combined with limited stress hardiness skills.

MYTH #4I ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I AM STRESSED! Unfortunately most people don’t and a serious miscalculation here could cost you your family, your job or even your life. Your feelings are not the best indicators of how well you are managing your stress. You need some objective assessment tools which will tell you how effectively you are handling your stress and more importantly how stress is actually affecting you. With a good assessment, some people find out that they are handling their stress very wella pleasant surprise! Others, sometimes in the same family or work group, get an unpleasant surprise when they find out that while they do not feel stressed that in reality they are heading for a crisis and don’t even know it. If you had asked me if I felt stressed a few days before I experienced serious job burnout, a few years ago, I would have said no. An effective and objective assessment tool is worth it’s weight in gold.

MYTH #5IF I IGNORE MY STRESS AT HOME OR WORK IT WILL ALL GO AWAY. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Plus this is a very dangerous attitude. We never automatically resolve work or personal stress. You must be aware of your stress and know and use daily the stress resolving tools that work best for you.

Here are three ways to make sure that these myths do not unnecessarly harm you:

1. Discover all you can about stress, how it both positively and negatively affects the body and most importantly how it is affecting your body mentally, physically and emotionally.

2. Become tuned in to your body’s reactions to stress. Know what are the key stress warning signals for you.

3. Take the necessary proactive actions needed to thrive and grow with the stress of your life. I have FREE E-course entitled, 7 Days to Enjoying the Stress of Your Life, to sign up click on the link below.

Cameron Johnston is an author, speaker and stress fitness coach. He is a burnout survivor who has inspired tens of thousands of individuals to live it up without being washed-up. Through his articles, books and speaking, employees in hundreds of organizations have mastered the stress hardiness tools needed to thrive and succeed in our fast-paced, 24/7 world. He has a Masters of Science Degree in Public Health and has developed the Cooling DownThe Stress Soup Stress Management System. Cameron is the author of three books on stress management including, Don’t Eat The Soup As Hot As They Cook It! Here he has distilled all the stress management essentials into eight powerful and very doable ways to cool off the stress soup. He is President of WellChoices

Tags: anxiety, family stress, stress, stress management, work stress, workplace stress