In the United States, and perhaps in other countries as well, September 16
has been designated as “Stepfamily Day”. A day dedicated to the stepfamily. A day to honor all the StepHeroes out there who choose every day to be parents to ALL the children in their lives.
What will you do to honor your family on this special day? Some communities have
picnic celebrations planned. Some blended families choose to spend the day
together, as a family, without any electronic devices on for the whole day.
Other stepfamilies go to a favorite place with friends and play together. And
the vast majority let the day go by as any other day and miss the chance to
honor themselves for all the effort and hard work it takes to make a blended
family work. Why? Because they do not even know this day exists for them. They
are not aware of all the resources out there for them. They believe that they
are the only ones who are experiencing what it is like to be in a blended family
and they feel all alone.
This could be a great opportunity to reach out to other step and blended
families in your community. What would it be like to arrange a spontaneous
pot-luck, where you invite two other families you know who are also blended, and
ask each of them to invite two blended families that they know. Have some
activities planned for the different age groups of children, and plan to meet at
a location that can accommodate you all (one of your homes; a nearby park or
playground; a community center; ). This doesn’t have to be fancy and you do
have to spend a ton of money. In fact, you can have each family bring one of
their favorite games to play, and see what you discover – how many are the same?
How many are different? Which ones have never been played? Which ones are the
ones everybody knows and has? Spend the day connecting and being with others
who are blending too.
Step and Blended Families that choose to make this kind of effort are always
amazed at the rewards that happen unexpectedly. Oftentimes, they enjoy the
experience so much that they decide to make it a monthly event, with a different
theme each month.
Are you finding yourself excited and elated by this idea? Or are your first
thoughts those of resistance or dread? Notice how your mind is responding to
this idea. Is it coming up with all kinds of reasons why you could not or would
not or should not do this? While all those reasons may appear to be valid,
chances are they are not necessarily true. Our minds have a way of keeping us
from trying or doing anything that is different or out of the ordinary. This is
a natural, healthy defense mechanism designed to keep us safe. The problem is
that what we perceive as safe is often just what is familiar. The unfamiliar is
then deemed to be unsafe, when the reality is that it can be very safe, fun,
fulfilling, and full of new possibilities.
Emily Bouchard co-authored the ebook Conquering Conflict with her husband Darryl. In the last two years alone, the Bouchards have helped over 3500 people change their lives through their coaching, trainings, and resource-based website, http://www.blended-families.com They travel throughout the U.S. and Canada leading workshops for couples, families, communities, professionals, and entrepreneurs who want to understand how to better communicate in their personal and business lives.
Emily Bouchard has over twenty years of experience in working with children, teens, couples and families. She earned a B.A. with honors in an individualized major in Child Development from the University of Pennsylvania, and a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Texas at Arlington.
For more information, visit their website or email Emily at emily@blended-families.com